Suddenly, it's June!

A productive weekend, if a little quiet.

Friday, the day job complete. A quick stop at Blain’s. Top off the fuel tank. Groceries picked up. Spirits elated as I arrive home to WHAAA? Did someone steal my hubcap? Yes, the front left wheel cover was missing from the wagon. No doubt I lost it in the previous night’s quick trip to Waverly. So let’s turn the Blazer around and retrace our steps. Now, knowing that hubcap must weigh something like 10 pounds, and knowing that even the flimsiest covers travel an impressive distance, my chances of finding it were slim. And there’s a lot of ditch weed between The Lodge and Waverly. Plus 218. All I managed to do was satisfy myself that I had at least _tried_ to find it. If that’s the worst that happens all weekend, I’m in pretty good shape.

Cam and Ben stopped out for a few brews, some fresh air and a screening of Winnebago Man. (Here’s a SFW link: http://articles.businessinsider.com/2010-05-05/tech/29980223_1_jack-rebney-winnebago-man-filmmaker-ben-steinbauer) Having never seen any of this viral video, but going on description alone, I decided to gamble a few bucks and buy the DVD. While not something I’ll probably watch frequently, I’d say that’s cheap entertainment.

Saturday. My first mistake was getting to bed around 1AM Friday night. Apparently I am not 24 years old anymore. No, no hangovers or anything like that. Just that general exhaustive malaise that removes any encouragement one might need for tackling manual labor in the hot sun. Deciding to make French toast and bacon for breakfast didn’t help either…I went all-out which meant the process from start to finish took about an hour and a half. You start with a certain density bread, then you bake out the moisture using a conventional oven (16 minutes). Then you prepare the egg mixture. Then after the bread is prepared you briefly soak the slices and arrange them next to the skillet which is cooking the bacon. Then you cook the slices several minutes per side on said skillet, and return to the oven to keep warm while you wipe and butter the cook surface b/w slices and continue to process. Plus getting out all the equipment and ingredients and doing the dishes and cleanup. Whew.

Eventually, I overcame that anchor and Cara gave me a hand in sorting fascia boards for CS3, selecting faces and edges that would be visible, and we began the confusing process of priming and painting. Why confusing? There’s around 2 dozen boards of varying lengths and widths. All surfaces need to be painted in some way to keep moisture out. But any visible knots or voids must be primed to fill in the imperfections and to keep sap and tannin from showing later on. Because priming takes longer than painting, and because there’s only so much sawhorse space, you end up with boards scattered everywhere. Some are drying in the sun, some are primed one side but not the other, some are primed both sides but waiting for me to top coat (Cara did the priming). And, oh yeah, some boards, but not others, require a 15 degree rip along the bottom edge (north fascias and south fascias) so those edges need to be considered when selecting what board goes where. Around dusk we packed up and headed inside, about 75% complete.

Sunday. Alarm went off. Up and running. Back to the fascias. This time everything was in order by noon. Primed. Painted. Drying in the sun. I moved the picker to the east side and started the arduous task of board installation. This is where experience pays off. Somehow you’ve got to get 36’ of boards to be razor straight, even when your subfascia isn’t. And do you think each board is naturally straight, either? The north and south ends must be mitered at 45 degrees to meet the complementing north and south fascia boards, but guess what, you’ve also got to get 15 degree angles on them, too. Plus all the splices need to be tight, so you have intermediate 25 deg cuts to join all the boards (36’=12+14+12 less excess). And I don’t own a sliding compound miter saw. It’s not rocket science, but it is a real PITA. By dinnertime, had finished the east side and the first north face board. Still more north boards to rip and hand sand. Grrr.

This is why, while outwardly simple, fascia boards and soffits are a real bane. You’ve got to get plywood sheets two stories up and into position with gaps no bigger than an 1/8” without screwing anything up. Every cut and angle just about perfect. Shims and spacing games to keep everything flat and even. And then it’s all got to be stained or painted. But it’s really the only way to get the color, texture, shape and angle you desire. This was the defacto standard for decades.  Until vinyl and aluminum got popular.

Ever notice today that a 100k house and a 300k house have the exact same soffits and fascias? Metal wrap over a 2x6 subfascia and stamped metal soffits that fit into formed channels. Three-Hundred-Thousand-Dollars, and that’s what you get. Because he can trim it with his shears in about 30 seconds and doesn’t have to paint it. Done. You also don’t really have 4’ overhangs on houses anymore. One, because it’s tough to integrate that kind of functionality on the style of today’s homes, and two, think of the material cost savings to the contractor.

Anyway, I’ll keep plugging away at the fascias. Soffits will be another matter. Because of the strip vents, multiple pieces must be installed to close up a joist bay, which means what you can’t finish in one session ends up as an open invite to any curious bird.