It's been odd the past week or so. Of course, there was the up and down of the drive-in screen. Spent Tuesday with the parents dismantling and salvaging a good portion of the remains. Then spent a few hours in the sun playing catch-up with grass that desperately needed mowing. The rest of the week was fairly quiet. Mostly because of late days at work and early nights in bed. After the drama and angst, I hit up the PL with Ben and Cam Thursday to blow off some steam. Still sorting out the Blazer axle, Ben and I engaged in enough automotive chat to turn Cam's stomach. Home by 11.
With a no-work-Saturday upon me, I relished in the fact that I could stay up late AND sleep in. Ran to Menards after work, then met Cara for dinner at the old Neighbor's establishment. Had a tasty bacon and cheddar burger and stopped by the parents for some books I still had over there. Home..tired and full. Went to sleep…not so late.
More of the same Saturday afternoon. Did my best to keep idle and "relax". Started off ok, but soon I found myself rolling in rust and dirt getting greasy under the blazer in the hot sun. Spun some LP's, looked cross-eyed at some technical pubs, but was mostly busy at nothing. Kept on that way until 11PM or so after putting up with enough calculations, and enough of a bad Jack Lemmon movie. Tired? Probably. Creative? Not so much. That did get me thinking about the creative process.
You might say I have a lot on my mind…two cars parked downstairs with drivetrains apart. Cold Storage 2 for this season (foundation types, roofing materials, costs). Replacing and building the drive-in. Cara's cabin. Getting the Blazer back on the road. Maintaining sanity from work. Stuff sitting around at the parents. Outstanding construction tasks. And lots of little things like taking care of the brougham title, sleuthing out a weather radio, searching out a snow plow and/or truck. Fixing the road. And all the mindless details that go into each of those. End of the day, apartment life sounds mighty good. Guess this is the price for being able to do what you want to do with minimal intrusion.
Meanwhile, vintage computing and design calls. Console sets sit, untouched. Business ventures, out of reach. It's not all negative energy, but it does a real number on the artful, creative side of things. But that I can deal with. Some of the most worry-less, simple, people I have had the 'pleasure' of knowing are not necessarily the most creative. And what about those individuals that were, but are now…not. What is the corollary?
When I worked in engineering, I could feel my soul being slowly overtaken. Same for energy. BUT, not creativity. And if a person is creative and positive, they can usually get themselves out of a lot of tight spots in life. Of course, outside circumstances were different, but I believe it was because I could counter the duldrum with my own time consuming inventions. Not quite enough time to get those ideas off the ground, but enough to package them up neatly and place them upon the shelf. A design for this. A solution for that. A small plan with beginning and end. The here and now is a different story. It's not the lack of free time that is the source of the problem as it would first appear, it's the slow attack on my intelligence. This is the conclusion I drew on Saturday. This wasn't a problem before- I wasn't dealing with idiots. But hang around a group long enough, and then tell me that your aspirations, intelligence, and attitude is not in some way affected. When meeting up for beers after work involves staring at a tv screen for 90% of the time with minimal engagement, you best put down your signature and give up. I mean, it makes sense why a major portion of the male population would rather do nothing than spend a Saturday afternoon watching sports and drinking beer, reacting only as events play out in front of them frame by frame. The trouble? I found myself equally motivation-less Saturday.
I'm going to chalk this one up to lack of sleep, but I best be careful, lest this situation consume me without further warning. Odd as it sounds, I miss the academic environment.
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